Thought I would give a brief update on how I’m doing.

My 2nd last post (The Lonely Landlady) was a very negative sounding one, but it was simply a true reflection of my situation and health at that time. Nothing was exaggerated.
It wasn’t a negative thing for me – as writing the post made me feel slightly better.

Its now July 2013.
The last 7 or 8 months may have been the worst I can remember in all my years with CFS. As I have had to spend such a large amount of this time in bed. Maybe 85 – 90% – but not really sure.

So many bloody symptoms to handle and manage, and try to cope with.
I choose not to say things like “battle with” or “fight” because phrases like this just make me feel even more exhausted.
Not just the symptoms – but the frequency and severity of them.

The worst problems (symptoms) have been :

The Exhaustion :
Both physical & mental. Just dreadful.

Post-exertion fatigue/exhaustion :
Very bad, often after doing the slightest thing. One of the hardest, most difficult things to manage with CFS.
It is always there.

Headaches :
Crippling at times.
Spending £50 a month on different medications. Cheap things like paracetomal lost effect. One of the few things that helped was Panadol Extra. And Solpadeine Max – which I need to use very carefully.
(Why did I not get a doctor’s prescription ? Because I wasn’t well enough to get to the doctor. Or even consider a phone consultation most of the time.)

“Brain Fog” :
This has been terrible, and trying to work thru it (as I often had to) would trigger the headaches.
Brain fog is a term used to cover a multitude of cognitive problems in CFS and ME.
Put more simply – much of the time I feel as though my brain is totally fucked (sorry for language).

Chest Pain :
More of a tightness, heavy weight, a feeling of compression on the chest.
This came on (or got bad) in November 2012 following a very stressful incident (work-wise). I think I mentioned this in a previous blogpost.
This was a very disabling symptom as it was there so much of the time. Would ease a bit with bed rest, but then hit again with sometimes the slightest exertion.
Why not go to the doctor ?
1) I wasn’t well enough
2) It wasn’t unusual to me. This was the thing (symptom) that finally pushed me over the edge in Nov 1997 – and I resigned from a financial job I had held for over 19 years.
3) I suspected (hoped) it would improve with rest and trying to avoid stress.

– – – – –

This update is cautiously optimistic.

As I seem to be getting better – even if just very slightly. And hopefully starting to get out of this relapse or major crash – or whatever it would be called.

My reason for saying this ?

Because for the last month or so – the chest pains have eased off.
At last.
Thank god . . . . !

Also the headaches have been less severe. And even respond to paracetomal again some days.

Many days it can still be 2 steps forward and 1 step back. And often it may be 1 step forward and 2 back.
But overall – I feel a slight improvement.

Please may it continue so I can start to have a better life again.
Because my life has been very small this year.
The most reduced I can remember.

But I am quite encouraged that the chest pains have eased.
I know I need to go slow, be careful, etc etc. As there are still so many symptoms (problems) to manage and juggle day to day.

But I am optimistic.

And it’s Friday after all . . . . .

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