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Gratitude 4 : Bagels made by Hubby

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Grateful for – Bagels with cheese and ham, with some cucumber and baby tomatoes. Made by my husband.
And a cup of tea.

Had this for breakfast this morning. And really really enjoyed them, especially as I’d eaten nothing since yesterday afternoon.
Was starving . . . !

Reason for this was bad headaches resulted in me getting into bed early evening. With painkillers. And the plan (ie. hope) that a couple of hours lying down, comfy with eye patches on would do the trick.
It did – eventually.
But I was feeling exhausted after just printing 6 emails off in the afternoon. I find it too hard to read things some days unless its in print form. But just looking at the laptop screen for too long, plus the noisy printer triggered off the dammed headaches. Anyway I ended having to stay in bed right thru to this morning.
Hence no dinner last night.

But don’t want to dwell on that.

My point is that I’m always so grateful for my hubby making these bagels for me. (Although they’re meant for my lunch, not breakfast.)
He always makes them the night before while making his lunch rolls for work. He has been doing this for so long now he kindof does it on autopilot.
And I’m very grateful for it . . .

Gratitude 2 : Tea

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A day of being in bed almost the whole day, after just a small amount of exertion in the morning. (Some texts then checking emails. And opening mail. Not much else.)
So frustrating . . .
But I’ve had worse days. Almost no headaches today – and I actually feel that I’ve had a lot of “good quality” sleep. And I’m grateful for that.

Now having a nice cup of tea made by my hubby.
And teacakes.
In this pretty mug which was a present.

Enjoying . . .
And tomorrow is another day.

Must break the Vicious Circle

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I hope this week is better . . .

Last week did have good and bad bits of course – no one week is all bad. But from Wed onwards I guess I had pretty much crashed again have had been exhuasted most days. Didn’t get any work done at all in the whole of last week – but I lost a lot of sleep (and energy) worrying about it. And with due cause . .
Plus I haven’t been outside the house since last Monday night. Only being out of the house once a week (if even that) has become a common pattern over the last while. Months maybe – not even sure. The reason for this is not because I don’t want to go out, have nothing to go out for, or am depressed (as no doubt my GP would try to suggest). It is simply because I don’t have enough energy left over after working and/or doing house stuff to be able to get out.
But it is a bad pattern – and so difficult to resolve.
Even if I sort of force myself to leave work aside for a day (and not because of the CFS being bad) – and go out to do something nice – it is hard for me to switch off from work stuff – as there is always so much outstanding. And it keeps causing more problems when left too long. Always has a financial knock-on. This in turn causes much stress which = worse CFS which = me not being able to work . . . etc. Then I get so stressed and exhausted about it all that I find it hard to be able to even think of things that are nice to do !
The whole vicious circle over and over.

But I am starting this week on Tues as a local B Hol here yesterday – and I slept thru most of the day. Well was in bed – not always sleeping. More going thru dozens of stuff that I didn’t get done last week and trying to mentally organise what order to do them in today. This of course achieved nothing – for one I didn’t write any of it down. And I remember little if its not written down.

Anyway thats enough moaning.
To try to take small steps towards breaking this vicious circle – I am going to try to do :
one nice thing for me everyday.
And it has to be something that does not involve me thinking or analysing or learning stuff. eg. if reading a book – it MUST be a fiction story. And not eg. a book on how to improve my time management or one of my vast collection of self-help books !

I’m writing this here today on my Blog – in the hope that it will help me to stick with this. As I have tried things like this before – but couldn’t stick to them. NB. Anybody who has done (or is doing) Mickel Therapy will recognise this as being part of applying Key 3 – one of the Mickel Therapy “tools”.

Today’s nice thing is :
Go out for a coffee and buy a magazine that I want. Probably to the Silverburn Centre.
Midday or during the afternoon.
No later – as I will be so sucked into work stuff by then I either won’t be able to leave it. Or – just as likely – I will have CFS symptoms by then which will make it too hard. eg. headache, sore neck, feeling too weak, etc.

So I must do it. For my own good.
Going for morning tea & bagel now.

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