I hope this week is better . . .

Last week did have good and bad bits of course – no one week is all bad. But from Wed onwards I guess I had pretty much crashed again have had been exhuasted most days. Didn’t get any work done at all in the whole of last week – but I lost a lot of sleep (and energy) worrying about it. And with due cause . .
Plus I haven’t been outside the house since last Monday night. Only being out of the house once a week (if even that) has become a common pattern over the last while. Months maybe – not even sure. The reason for this is not because I don’t want to go out, have nothing to go out for, or am depressed (as no doubt my GP would try to suggest). It is simply because I don’t have enough energy left over after working and/or doing house stuff to be able to get out.
But it is a bad pattern – and so difficult to resolve.
Even if I sort of force myself to leave work aside for a day (and not because of the CFS being bad) – and go out to do something nice – it is hard for me to switch off from work stuff – as there is always so much outstanding. And it keeps causing more problems when left too long. Always has a financial knock-on. This in turn causes much stress which = worse CFS which = me not being able to work . . . etc. Then I get so stressed and exhausted about it all that I find it hard to be able to even think of things that are nice to do !
The whole vicious circle over and over.

But I am starting this week on Tues as a local B Hol here yesterday – and I slept thru most of the day. Well was in bed – not always sleeping. More going thru dozens of stuff that I didn’t get done last week and trying to mentally organise what order to do them in today. This of course achieved nothing – for one I didn’t write any of it down. And I remember little if its not written down.

Anyway thats enough moaning.
To try to take small steps towards breaking this vicious circle – I am going to try to do :
one nice thing for me everyday.
And it has to be something that does not involve me thinking or analysing or learning stuff. eg. if reading a book – it MUST be a fiction story. And not eg. a book on how to improve my time management or one of my vast collection of self-help books !

I’m writing this here today on my Blog – in the hope that it will help me to stick with this. As I have tried things like this before – but couldn’t stick to them. NB. Anybody who has done (or is doing) Mickel Therapy will recognise this as being part of applying Key 3 – one of the Mickel Therapy “tools”.

Today’s nice thing is :
Go out for a coffee and buy a magazine that I want. Probably to the Silverburn Centre.
Midday or during the afternoon.
No later – as I will be so sucked into work stuff by then I either won’t be able to leave it. Or – just as likely – I will have CFS symptoms by then which will make it too hard. eg. headache, sore neck, feeling too weak, etc.

So I must do it. For my own good.
Going for morning tea & bagel now.

Advertisements