This weekend was less good than the previous one.
Have been in bed pretty much the whole time. No tv, or reading books or magazines. Almost nothing. Too tired for anything. Body and brain exhausted. Food brought up to me in bed by my husband, which I was so grateful for.

This has been getting more and more common for a while now. Not really sure how long, and I don’t have enough mental energy to think back. But I sometimes feel the days, weeks and even months are all merging together.

The only thing that distinguishes one week or month from another is what “property crisis” has happened. (Or is ongoing.) And needed urgent attention.
Mind you, some of the things that get to a critical stage are caused by me only being able to work so slowly. And for shorter and shorter lengths of time. My frightening backlog just keeps getting bigger.

On Friday I only managed to do two things :

(a) An email to a large utility company about an issue ongoing for a few weeks now. Concerning a (currently empty) property where it seems the last two tenants didn’t bother to pay their gas & electric bills. And the letting agent has totally failed to confirm the move-in and move-out readings. All causing me unnecessary hassle and stress.
I didn’t have enough energy (physical or mental) to phone. The email wasn’t massively long – but it took me 2.5 hours to type and send.
Q. This may sound odd to any non-CFS/ME sufferers reading ?
To explain, the TOTAL time the email took me to do was 2.5 hours – not incl breaks. This was with numerous breaks/stops because my energy and thought processes were so poor. A phone call would have been beyond me as you cannot take a lot of breaks while talking. Either it would be a very long, expensive call. Or, more likely, the other person would just hang up.

Anyway, this was on Friday morning and took all my energy away for the rest of the day. I was unable to do anything after that.
And I mean anything.

(b) At around 11.00 pm at night I realised that I had meant to check my bank accounts that pay the BTL (buy to let) mortgage direct debits and receive rents.
This is a vital thing I have to check regularly. As the mortgage DD’s always come off on the same dates, but unfortunately rents don’t always come in when they should. This, together with the poxy overdraft limits = cash-flow problems at times !
    Anyway, when I went online to check, it was as I had feared. One rent not thru and another short-paid for some reason. This meant I had to move some funds from elsewhere. May sound not too difficult ? Assuming funds can be found of course . . .
But I was trying to focus and work through so many CFS symptoms. Another bad headache started after just 5 mins at my desk, as well as lots of other symptoms. On top of feeling very weak and drained of all energy all day.  Add in the brain fog – and this task became very difficult for me.
I got it all sorted out ok – but took me 90 mins.  When it should have taken 10 or 15 mins. 

NB. This is why I have a massive backlog. Not because I have any more work than anyone else.

The after-affect of having to push on like this, when I had been bad to start with, was “crash” – and all of Saturday and Sunday in bed.

Most of Sat my brain was still racing and in overdrive thinking about all the other things still on Friday’s To Do list. Maybe 15 or 20 things – and I had only managed 2 of them.
And some of these had been carried forward from previous days . . .
But the more I thought about it, and tried to think of ideas, solutions, better ways of doing it all – the more severe my headache got. And other symptoms.

It was making me increasinly ill.
And I was feeling quite beaten by it all.

But on Sunday – I listened to some meditation music thru my mobile with the earphones. It was trial and error, but some of it was really good. Really nice. And I think has helped a bit.

Now, Monday morning, I still feel very physically weak. But my head feels calmer, less exhausted maybe. And I haven’t needed any headache tablets for 18 hours now.

A step in the right direction ?

Advertisements