Home

The Chaos Of My House

Leave a comment

The Chaos Of My Life

Right now all around me feels chaotic so thought I’d write a post about it – as it may calm my head down.
My work is totally chaotic and has been for ages now as I am struggling so much to do any of it. The harder I try the worse my CFS symptoms get. Over the last week or so I can hardly even use my laptop. This is severely restricting what I can do as rely on email very much. Just looking at the screen (no matter how I alter brightness etc) is giving me almost instant headaches some days. Also use my mobile phone (an old style one) for text messages to communicate a lot. But this isn’t great either – as it is feels like shining a bright torch into my face . Not to mention that I go thru my pay as you go credit at a lightening rate. (And not everyone does text messages anyway.)
I have probably already mentioned how difficult phone calls can be with CFS – when the brain fog or racing brain kicks in.  Not to mention everything else.
In fact – just actually thinking (about anything work wise) is giving me such bad headaches and exhaustion now.
So its not making for an easy life  : if I can hardly use my laptop, mobile phone or even think . . .
But I know there is a funny side to this. I did chuckle to myself this morning as the thought of trying to explain to a angry employer (if I had one) that I was too ill to come into work because thinking was too much for me ! I don’t imagine that would be well received or understood – do you ?

But I wanted to make this post about non-work things.
Some other things that feel chaotic right now are :

a) The House is dreadful mess.
Cluttered with stuff everywhere and nothing in a logical place. To explain, Hubby moved back again 6 weeks ago. (Both happy about this – may do a separate post later.) He had been living in one of the flats that is normally rented out near Shawlands. For 9 months. So various items of furniture and loads of belongings are now here – but most have still to be merged back into the house. At the moment they are all over the place. Things keep getting lost or misplaced everywhere. And neither of us have had the time or energy to sort it all out properly.

b) My Office is a mess too.
Same reason as above – on top of my ever growing backlog of work and problems.  Sitting at my desk typing this I can see on the floor and table ahead of me : surplus pillows, various lamps, a mirror, a painting, 6 mini boxes filled with stuff, lots of bags containing Xmas gift bags that were taken out a cupboard to let other stuff in . . . etc etc.
A setting that doesn’t make for clear thinking at all.

c) An over-flowing laundry room.
I am lucky to have a decent amount of space at home – but not much storage. Have 2 downstairs cupboards but the larger one is used to house the washing machine and washing baskets. At the moment it looks like a very out of control laundry.  The 2 washing baskets have doubled to 4. Hubby has 1 and it is fairly empty – he is good with his.  The other 3 are for my stuff, and towels and bedding – and they are all totally overflowing. Its getting to the stage that almost every towel and item of bedding in the house needs washing. Not to mention most of my own clothes.
Why – because I haven’t enough time or energy. The usual issue.

d) We are lucky to have a 2nd TV room – but its a muddle too.
After 21 years together and 9 months apart (recently) Hubby and I realise that we must have our own separate time as well as together time. So he will use this room at times. But right now the room is a shambles.  So much stuff everywhere – I try not to even look into it when I pass to go to kitchen. The TV and DVD player aren’t connected up yet and there are wires, rolls of cable, remote controls etc all over the floor. And it has been like this for 6 weeks. But he hasn’t had time to sort out yet. Even the switch for the cable modem I need to put on (to use broadband) is in this room underneath a table. So I have to crawl under every day to switch on and off.
Not ideal . . .

e) The only good bedroom is unusable.
The central heating system and boiler are ancient – over 40 years old. We have had quotes but too expensive to replace it. It still works and works well in downstairs rooms. But the heating now struggles to get to some rooms upstairs. In particular the main bedroom which I love because of its size and brightness. And its bay windows – something about bay windows I find calming. But this room is now (for me) a “no go” area as simply too cold. And will get much colder yet as winter approaches. (Everything has been tried, adjustments, an extra pump, new radiators etc – but the ancient system simply isn’t coping.)
So we now use a much smaller bedroom at the back of the house which heats up well (so far). And realise am lucky to have this option.
But its not ideal as quite small. And gets a very poor light – even on a bright sunny day. It has a lovely view of the side of next door’s house – a brick wall ! And its crammed with far too much stuff at the moment.

f) Finally – and to cap it all – we now have fleas from a visiting pussy cat !
Yeh  Gods . . .
We thought we were imagining it at first – as haven’t actually seen any.  Do you actually see fleas . . . ? I have no idea . And certainly couldn’t see any on the pussycat herself – who is a very fluffy girl cat with a massive tail. Simply gorgeous and irresistible. How could I turn a pussy like that away . . . when she meows at the kitchen door for attention ? And cats are always washing and grooming their fur (very proud animals) so we didn’t suspect anything at all.
But the lovely ankle bites can no longer be ignored.  So that’s something else to deal with.

Oh well – I wouldn’t like to have nothing to think about . . .
Aaaaargh .

Undernote :
I changed the name of this post as the previous one gave the impression of things being more dire than they are. Its not my total life thats in chaos – just some parts of it !

This Week So Far

Leave a comment

It has been quite a difficult week so far – and now Thurs morning.

Am doing my best to keep dealing with my Property stuff and keep everything afloat. Its such a battle some days – most days actually. But its almost impossible to get a decent rest from it to help my CFS.  Because if I take time off – the work backlog increases. And I can miss certain deadlines for things that need to be done. This then may cause a financial loss or penalty of some sort – which then gives me more work.

And what does this result in ?
More stress = worse CFS symptoms.

Anyway – I just want to have a wee moan about it here. As it saves me inflicting my moans and tales of woe on friends face to face who are kind of trapped into listening at times.

Yesterday was a typical rubbish day.

Was in bed exhausted all morning and afternoon.
This was following a bout of hoovering the day before (Tues). Well not much of a “bout” – just the living room. Plus I used my Turbo Tiger (a hand-held vacuum cleaner – not a sex toy I should add . . ! ) to vacuum the sofas. But it was very hard work.

I knew this would take it out of me but it just had to be done. I have 2 visiting pussy cats who have been in a lot recently – they are gorgeous. But the build-up of fur was making me very sniffy and sneezy. I love cats but this is one of the reasons I don’t have any of my own.  But I like to have a visiting cat – in this case 2.

In the past my husband would have done any hovering needed. But we have been living apart since Jan this year. (Which is another story.)

Anyway – I didn’t manage to do any work until the evening. And rather pathetically this consisted of just 2 emails . . .

I won’t go into much detail as it really is very boring.
But just to say it concerned a flat with a recurring damp problem, a letting agent who I thought were helping me to get this sorted but have just dumped it back onto me, and a local Council (who are also factors for the building) who do F**k all when it comes to vital communal repairs to things like drains, gutters etc. No matter how many times you ask them. And a tenant who is now leaving – as nobody can get this sorted.

Probably because of the history with this – I started to feel ill very quickly when trying to think out the wording of the emails. I was trying to stay focused but kept thinking about the general imcompetence and unhelpfulness of the Council and was feeling angry and frustrated by it all. Plus the letting agent who should be helping me were now increasing my problems (another story . . ).
As well as the horrible tiredness/weakness – I got a nasty headache very fast, plus stiff neck, sore shoulder and upper back. My concentration became poor very fast and I was losing track of my thoughts and struggling to focus on what I was doing.
A simple thing will take me ages when feeling like this.

Anyway I pushed on to get the emails done – and it took me 2 hours. Even with the slightly complex history – it should take maybe 20-30 mins tops.
No wonder I have a backlog.

And by the end of this my headache was so bad I had to go and lie down (again) with the light off in darkness. And take painkillers obviously. My eyes were so tired and strained too. I couldn’t even tolerate any light.

Eventually got up again and had something to eat. Then back to bed for the night.
But didn’t even manage to do any “normal” things – like get even washed and dressed.

But I will get there . . .

Jamison Writes

Not Like The Whiskey

Rosa Rainbows

Rosa Rainbows ~ Living with and raising awareness of M.E and Lupus, the crafts that I do, reading books and cute fashion :)

Utting-Wolff Spouts

Encompassing the natural and social sciences, politics and social justice issues

A Prescription for M.E.

My blog from the intersection of patient & pharmacist

Ordinary Miracles

This blog is my story about a life forever changed by chronic illness. I hope you'll laugh and cry with me as I try to make sense of it all. Oh, and nothing I say should ever be construed as offering medical or legal advice.

Not Mid Morning Matters

JD in the Morning, off air...

Stress Management Coach Jayne Cox | Live the Life You Want

ANNE DEAN : My journey with ME - a long one and still ongoing. But I will get there. Comments, thoughts & general rants.

Lesism

The greatest dreams are achieved with open eyes and a conscious mind...

Thoughts About M.E.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.) Advocacy

ANNE DEAN : My journey with ME - a long one and still ongoing. But I will get there. Comments, thoughts & general rants.

Heroes Not Zombies

becoming not being.......

Two Rooms plus Utilities

ANNE DEAN : My journey with ME - a long one and still ongoing. But I will get there. Comments, thoughts & general rants.

Jayne Cox

Specialist Women's Coach

Dead Men Don't Snore

Learning to Live with Chronic Illness

valerieeliotsmith

Law and health; due process and civil society

Chronic Fatigue Survivor's Blog

My experience recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS/ME)

ANNE DEAN : My journey with ME - a long one and still ongoing. But I will get there. Comments, thoughts & general rants.

ANNE DEAN : My journey with ME - a long one and still ongoing. But I will get there. Comments, thoughts & general rants.

The World of Northern Bay Girl

My World, My Life, My Blog