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A Decent Weekend

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Well the weekend past was reasonably good I guess.
Friday was a write-off – a bad CFS day. But nothing unusual at the moment.
On Saturday – the symptoms and exhaustion eased off by early evening. (Thank goodness . . . )  And I treated myself to a nice slow bath. Well it was certainly slow. As the whole business of shampooing hair and then rinsing by using a plastic tumbler of water was like something from many years ago.
And nice ?
That may be stretching it a bit. More awkward, as it is a very small bath. In a smaller than average bathroom. For me to lie back and stretch out fully – I have to put my feet on the wall above or beside the taps. Am I very tall you may be asking ?  NO ! Just 5′ 2″ without shoes.
Also trying not to bang my head against the wash-hand basin above (slightly overhangs the bath) is another challenge.
But it was warm and I am finding it easier than taking a shower just now. Slightly less exhausting and I tend to recover a bit quicker afterwards.
      Later had a very nice dinner which hubby cooked. Well, bought from Tesco and put in oven. But much appreciated. Very tender lamb shank, slow cooked with loads of veg. And some Prossecco wine. Just lovely. Followed by some chocs which were a gift from a friend. And a well appreciated gift too – as I had been in need of cheering up !

Sunday –  and I actually got out of the house. 1st time for 21 days. Yes I have been counting – as this keeps happening. (My work is killing me.)
Went for a early evening pub meal with hubby.
Now we didn’t exactly push the boat out here. We went to a local J D Wetherspoons pub and had the “burger meal deal” – which was something like 2 burger meals & 2 soft drinks for £7.99 (in total). I enjoyed it though, as was great to be out the house.
Later once back home, just relaxed and watched some tv. With 2 small glasses of wine. And finished off those chocs.

Simple pleasures . . . but nice.
And I am very grateful for them.

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Must break the Vicious Circle

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I hope this week is better . . .

Last week did have good and bad bits of course – no one week is all bad. But from Wed onwards I guess I had pretty much crashed again have had been exhuasted most days. Didn’t get any work done at all in the whole of last week – but I lost a lot of sleep (and energy) worrying about it. And with due cause . .
Plus I haven’t been outside the house since last Monday night. Only being out of the house once a week (if even that) has become a common pattern over the last while. Months maybe – not even sure. The reason for this is not because I don’t want to go out, have nothing to go out for, or am depressed (as no doubt my GP would try to suggest). It is simply because I don’t have enough energy left over after working and/or doing house stuff to be able to get out.
But it is a bad pattern – and so difficult to resolve.
Even if I sort of force myself to leave work aside for a day (and not because of the CFS being bad) – and go out to do something nice – it is hard for me to switch off from work stuff – as there is always so much outstanding. And it keeps causing more problems when left too long. Always has a financial knock-on. This in turn causes much stress which = worse CFS which = me not being able to work . . . etc. Then I get so stressed and exhausted about it all that I find it hard to be able to even think of things that are nice to do !
The whole vicious circle over and over.

But I am starting this week on Tues as a local B Hol here yesterday – and I slept thru most of the day. Well was in bed – not always sleeping. More going thru dozens of stuff that I didn’t get done last week and trying to mentally organise what order to do them in today. This of course achieved nothing – for one I didn’t write any of it down. And I remember little if its not written down.

Anyway thats enough moaning.
To try to take small steps towards breaking this vicious circle – I am going to try to do :
one nice thing for me everyday.
And it has to be something that does not involve me thinking or analysing or learning stuff. eg. if reading a book – it MUST be a fiction story. And not eg. a book on how to improve my time management or one of my vast collection of self-help books !

I’m writing this here today on my Blog – in the hope that it will help me to stick with this. As I have tried things like this before – but couldn’t stick to them. NB. Anybody who has done (or is doing) Mickel Therapy will recognise this as being part of applying Key 3 – one of the Mickel Therapy “tools”.

Today’s nice thing is :
Go out for a coffee and buy a magazine that I want. Probably to the Silverburn Centre.
Midday or during the afternoon.
No later – as I will be so sucked into work stuff by then I either won’t be able to leave it. Or – just as likely – I will have CFS symptoms by then which will make it too hard. eg. headache, sore neck, feeling too weak, etc.

So I must do it. For my own good.
Going for morning tea & bagel now.

A Good Weekend

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Well this weekend was good.

Not that I did anything mega exciting but it was the 1st time I had been out then house properly during the daytime for 3 weeks !!  Did some walking and got fresh air.
3 weeks – how does this happen you may ask ?
Well in CFS or ME land it is unfortunately all too common at times. And the last few weeks have been a bit difficult.
But won’t dwell on that now.

My husband came to take me out both days and did all the driving around.

We did some perhaps dull things like go to B & Q, and shops etc – but even this I enjoyed (up to a point. . . ) as I was glad to get out.

Today was the best of the 2 days.

We had a nice long, slow, peaceful walk thru Kelvingrove Park in Glasgow’s West End – and even around some of the streets in what is called the Park Area just into the West End.
It is full of the type of properties I love – old traditional houses and flats from victorian times.  All so distinctive – the lovely detail in the buildings and the big windows. I find it relaxing just looking at them.
Then we found a cafe within the park and had a nice coffee and a break.
We did other things too but the time in the park I found the most rejuvenating – physically and mentally.

Its now evening and I’m a bit tired.
But its more like a natural tiredness – rather than that awful CFS/ME tiredness which really is beyond description.
Hubby is still here – and we’re just going to settle down and watch some TV now.
And will have a nice glass of chilled pinot grigio wine.

Sat night with Hubby

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Telly & Wine

Just a short fun post – to try to add some balance after all my moany posts.

Tonight my husband will be coming over – we have been living apart since January (which is another story for another post sometime . . . ).

Anyway – the plan is to just slouch & watch telly. Maybe some repeats of Downton Abbey that I have recorded. We both love it.

Will have some dinner – that he may cook with a bit of luck.  And most def some chilled white wine – which will banish all thoughts of tenants, o/s rents, repairs . .  blah blah blah . .  out of my mind till Monday.
Looking forward to that and just chilling out.

Need to “Get It Out”

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I have decided to start this blog to write about my experiences of living with CFS for a long time. Partly to spare my husband and friends from having to listen to what probably sounds like a lot of moaning and whining. And also to de-stress myself and “get it all out”.  For a long time I have thought I would like to write a book. But this could take years – and I need to start writing now – to prevent me having a stress-induced nervous breakdown !

My thoughts are not really in any logical order – so my posts will just be pretty random. Of experiences and memories both recent and going back over the years.  And I would love it if people with CFS or ME would read it – as well as non-sufferers, friends, etc.  But even if nobody reads it I don’t really mind. As I have to do it for myself – to start to get all the anger and frustrations of the last 20 years or so out of my system.

But its not all going to be negative stuff – honestly – there will be funny stuff too !  And though I may mention my property work from time to time – it will not really be about that.  I plan to start a different blog about that.

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