One of the awful things about CFS and ME is the way people treat you at times. And I’m not just talking about medical professionals.
Unfortunately people who are friends and family can treat us quite poorly at times.

I have used up vast amounts of energy over the years trying to cope with this. Trying to make allowances for the way other people behave.

I have exhausted myself trying to :

– To rationalise it.
– To understand it.
– To excuse it.
– Making allowances for it.
– Agonising over it.
– Trying not to upset others by speaking my mind.
– Apologising for myself.
– Avoiding any awkwardness involved in  asking people ” Why ? ” .
– Putting others’ feelings 1st.

Basically accepting treatment/comments from people that would be unacceptable to them.

But no more.

Two nights ago I had a conversation with my husband about this. As something had been making me feel upset.
We have had this type of conversation a  100 times over the years. And it is pointless.
He loves me, but just doesn’t “get” why I feel so upset at this stuff.
And this is despite reading a book I had begged him to read during the time we had to live apart during 2012.

The book was called Shattered by Lynn Michell. 
It covers all the hidden misery of CFS and ME.  The emotionally painful dealings with friends and family (as well as doctors).

Yesterday I turned to Twitter to vent my emotions. And had a bit of a rant. This was very theraputic. And it lifted my spirits no end.

Within a 2 hour period I got lots of lovely messages. All supportive, encouraging, empathatic, understanding.
It restored my faith in human nature no end.
PS.  I’m sorry I didn’t manage to reply to any of the messages. I was just too exhausted.

But it made me realise that the way people behave – is the way they choose to behave.
Regardless of whether they don’t really  understand what CFS or ME is like – it makes no difference.

People still know the difference between being nice, or not.

So I am not going to waste any more of my energy excusing crap behaviour. My energy is too valuable (and too limited just now) for this stuff.

It also occurred to me yesterday that many people have a deep predjudice about CFS and ME.  Maybe not realising it of course.
But it is viewed very negatively.

### From today I will no longer allow this to be my problem ###

Big words . . . .

And of course it will be easier said than done.
But it can’t be any harder than accepting poor treatment.

Nearly every CFS or ME sufferer will know what I mean.
To everyone else – just ask yourself how you would want people to treat you. Or more importantly – not treat you.

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