” She keeps her house immaculate – but then she has such a positive attitude “

This one also merits a post of its own.

A friend visiting me at home told me about a friend (of hers) who was sadly very ill with cancer.

My friend has know me for over 30 years – therefore has known me before CFS and all the time I have had it. And she knows that I regularly struggle with doing some physical things.
Like housework and cleaning for instance.
Which can often defeat me (and cause me to stress over it). Or I actually manage to do some – but often pay the price afterwards with a bad relapse or “crash” and may need a day or so in bed to recover. Or at best a long rest – and waste half a day while energy is restored.

When my energy is very limited I often have to choose between essentials. Therefore things like managing to have food in the house, and make meals just has to take a higher priority. Or laundry. Or even personal cleaning/hygiene.
I mean what is the point of a clean house if I am a mess myself, with no clean clothes to wear ? And hair an unwashed straggly mess.
And food – well it’s an essential for life. We cannot do without it.
Also my work – which can quickly spiral out of control when I fail to keep on top of it. And is a constant challenge for me.

But a dust-free room, clean kitchen floor, hoovered carpets etc – just cannot be as high up the priority list when you have to choose. Everybody would agree with that – surely ?

All these things my friend knows – as I have explained over and over throughout the years.
So although I tried not to – I couldn’t help but feel upset at her comment. As it kind of implied that if only I was to change my attitude in some way then I too could have a lovely clean house !

With regard to her friend who was managing to maintain a spotless house despite her awful health predicament – I had to admit I was curious.
I was imaging some sort of mind over matter positive thinking. You know the sort of thing you read about where a person somehow manages to summon up a huge amount of mental energy and can make themselves do amazing things.  Like walk over red-hot coals in bare feet.

Finally I just had to blurt out “but how does she do it ?”
The answer was not what I expected.
It was : She pays her sister to clean her house for her.

Now there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with this as it was obviously an arrangement that suited both of them.  And if I had the money to spare then I would have a cleaner too for sure. But the way that my friend was quoting it to me as an example of “positive thinking” . . .

I think maybe because of the look on my face my friend went on to explain further that the sister  “hadn’t done very well for herself in life” and that her ill friend was actually helping her out by letting her clean her house and paying her for it.

For once I was left speechless . . . .

Footnote :

I decided to add this incase I have caused any offence or distress to any cancer sufferers out there with this post ? As this was totally not my intention.  The employment of a cleaner is something to be recommended 100% if you have the spare funds to pay for it.  The point of my post was the comment made by my friend – and wasn’t meant to sound critical of the person with the cancer in any way at all.

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